I recently saw a thread on a parenting Facebook group regarding the term “Full time Mum” and it shocked me how much mum bashing went on through the string of comments.
One mum said “ I get pissed off with the term full time Mum. I work, that doesn't make me a part time mum!! Does anyone agree?”
Another said “ I’m a ‘mum who doesn’t go to work’ (I don’t know what to call myself now without getting lynched!), I love it and feel lucky to be in this position however I would often love a “break” , to be able to do ME and go to work. Yet I’m so heavily judged as the “lazy” one who stays at home all day, suggesting there’s no work involved in this.”
Does status really matter? And why is it so important to us?
Here’s some facts for thought;
To the Mum who's boobing, you’re truly amazing. The female body is remarkable and you’re giving your child golden nutrients for any time you can manage even through the pain and mastitis. Go Mumma!
To the Mum who's bottle feeding: your baby is also healthy, happy, fed and full . And if you had no choice or this was your first choice you’re doing an amazing job. And your baby is not suffering as a result. Go Mumma!
To the reusable nappy and wipes Mum: Bank account and planet friendly! And you have the nappy liner washing production line down to a tee. Go Mumma!
To the Aldi/ Pampers/ Lidl nappy Mum: There’s no smell like a day old shitty nappy stuffed into your kitchen bin. It’s amazing how much wee those things can hold when you have a bad Mum morning and forget to change the nappy for hours. Nothing a wet wipe and bum airing can’t fix. Go Mumma!
To the Mum who stays home: from the moment you wake up to the minute you go to sleep you do not stop and receive no thanks or little help. You’re desperate for a break, the mess drives you mad and have never felt loneliness like it - but how amazing you never miss a milestone. Go Mumma!
To the Mum who works part time/ full time: Career driven, post MAT return to work V.S. no choice financially have to work mums you’re amazing providing for your baby and Family. And although you miss some of those times the ones you do have are even more precious. You truly rock, Go Mumma!
To the “pouch, tin or ready meal” Mum who either has no confidence to cook or money to buy fresh, Those tummies are full and I bet they aren't complaining when you pull up at the McDonald’s drive through when you have no energy to get your shit together midweek! Go Mumma!
To the Mum who gives her kids home-made oat baked muffins for breakfast, and recipe book dinners every night: Excellent how yummy! I wish I had someone to cook me fresh food daily packed with fresh ingredients. Go Mumma!
To the Single Mums playing both Mum & Dad; Being a single parent is twice the work, twice the stress, and twice the tears but also twice the hugs, twice the love and twice the pride. Go Mumma!
To the happily married/ in a relationship Mum; finding time for each other is so difficult. You’re no longer the centre of your own universe let alone each other’s. But the key to a good marriage or relationship is; keep the fights clean and the sex dirty. Go Mumma!
To the Mum with the children who go to bed at strictly 7pm in a perfect routine hats off to you. This must have taken lots of persistence and perseverance to get them in their own bed and keeping them there! You have this down to a tee now, and I bet the free time in the evening is pure bliss. Go Mumma!
To the Mum with the toddler raiding the snack cupboard, watching little baby bum at 11:30pm and passing out on your bed whilst you and the other half get ready to squeeze in sleep with a toddler foot in your face all night. You’re pulling your hair out, desperate for me time but wouldn’t have it any other way as the best snuggles are always the late night ones. Go Mumma!
Bad moments don’t make bad Mums. There’s no rule book to parenting, nor a right or wrong way. It’s actually shocking how many judgy mums and women there are around.
The sharpest critics and those most known for pointing out flaws and weaknesses in others, are most often the ones who are blind to their own insecurities and mistakes. It’s best to take a mirror and examine yourself before riding a self righteous high horse and accusing others of what you think they do wrong. And social media Mums in particular need to take note.
We should empower each other, instead of being hateful and jealous and Instead of bashing one another let’s support each other like we used to when we were young, single, and drunk in club bathrooms.